Gender issues

[azbackpackr]

The gender issue doesn't come up very often but when it does, you will find me hot under the collar. Here are several examples which either bugged me or actually really, totally made me very, very angry:

1. A newbie posts on here, is looking to find a hiking companion for an upcoming trip, whom he refers to as a "him." (Annoying but may have been just a mistake.)

2. A boating friend sends me an email saying there is a private Grand Canyon trip set up which he is not invited on, because they want more female passengers. What for, I ask, to cook, clean and have sex with? I hope all the boatwomen slam that group, and tell them where to go. (Trips should not be gender-selective. That is just plain stupid.)

3. I post a hike for Grand Canyon, and a guy emails me to ask how many "single women" are going on it. This has to be the biggest faux pas of the century. No single woman in her right mind is going to go on a trip if she hears there is some lecherous knuckle-dragger going along, who will continually make passes at her. (I gleefully mention this guy's name to anyone I think knows him, and I tell them I think he is a total jerk, even though I have never met him. What an idiot. He deserves to never, ever have another girlfriend as long as he lives.)

I like my groups to be of casual mixed company. Sometimes I end up with all women, sometimes I am the only gal, but most times in the past, when I have organized a trip, we end up with a mixture of men and women, married and single. It has never been much of an issue. People who try to make it be one way or the other are mostly just REALLY UPTIGHT!!!

[big_load]

I wonder if it was actually that guy's golfing pal who took the pics and started posting them?

That's what I assumed. It's usually a "friend". "Dude, you should thank me. I made you famous."

[dysfunction]

In response to big_load:
I always like it when there's photographic proof of my stupidity.. that way, when I get around to telling the story and people don't believe me.. I can show em!

[Jeffshadows]

...It's a Phoenix-area department; I have no idea which one...

[johnlp]

Those are two different people in the pics if you go back and look. I guess cholla diving is a popular sport.

[dysfunction]

Yes, the second one is an atv rider if I remember correctly.

[Jeffshadows]

Good times...

[pencak]

I was actually looking for a photo of I guy I saw on the net where he's only wearing sorts and it's all over his bear upper body and some on his legs. He's hunched over walking and he's drooling with one stuck to his lip. He looks like he's crying also. I couldn't find that photo so the one I linked had to suffice.

[Dschur]

...nevermind.....

[azbackpackr]

Yeah, I think someone mentioned that. But funny, anyway!

[Dschur]

Last year when I was doing the Lost Dutchmans's 8k trailrun/walk a kid about 12 or so fell into some Cholla along the trail.... He was standing there with the helpers of the run waiting for help and had 10 or more in him....

[RedRoxx44]

IMO I still prefer backpacking and hiking alone. My boyfriend is a great hiker, caver, route finder etc and I enjoy being with him immensely but I like my solo time. I don't run into many people on my trips and I have never felt threatened by anyone ( or animal) on the trip. If I am on a "main" trail, I will stealth camp, so I can relax and not worry about unwelcome company.
I've hiked near the border many times, solo, twice I had dicey encounters but all turned out well. I was not armed at that time, although I do have a weapon, most of the times it stays at home.
Since I don't do group hikes much I have not run into these "gender"issues. My dad is a retired chief master sgt air force and he brought me up to think I was equal to any task, male or female. While it is an issue, it isn't for me.

[Jeffshadows]

Nine times out of ten the entire issue is all in perception, I agree. You can't be a second-class citizen unless you let someone make you so...

[azbackpackr]

That's one of the things I'm studying in a sociology class right now. How much of it is self-perception, how much is institutionalized, is the one of the many questions sociologists like to ask. And ask, and ask.

I haven't solo backpacked in years. Maybe I would like it better now that I am older. I just used to get so bored in the evenings. I do really like solo day hikes, mtn. biking, etc.

[Jeffshadows]

You do have to give men some credit, though; it's hard to know what is "Too much," anymore. Where I work we have ~4500 staff members. Something like 87% of them are female. I have to make a conscious effort to edit myself before I speak and watch my body posture, etc. It's quite ridiculous, but it's the way it is. Women frequently perceive things very differently than men do.

I try to do the same thing on the trail. If a group of women or a solo woman approaches, I give them or her a wide berth. I want them to know from yards away that I'm not a threat or nuisance, and am just out enjoying the day like they are (She is.) I don't give men the same courtesy, even though many of them are clearly much weaker than some of the women I encounter. I can't explain why this is but it's a habit I can't break; and maybe don't necessarily want to??

[BobP]

In response to Jeff MacE:
Thats interesting....when I hold a door open for a woman...I always hold it from the outside to allow her to enter first...for a guy I'll hold it open from the inside after I enter unless he's with his family and I let them all enter first....some habits never die.

[writelots]

I sometimes have trouble accepting help from guys - I prefer not to be seen as the damsel in distress (you know, getting up a steep wall, getting through a door when my hands are full, getting a hand up after I've fallen in the snow). Of course, the good ones usually just say something like "shut up and take my hand woman" and force me to stop being a pain in the butt. Of course, I have trouble accepting/asking for help under just about any circumstances, so it's probably just as much about me as about my gender, if not more.

[Al_HikesAZ]

. . . I haven't solo backpacked in years. Maybe I would like it better now that I am older. I just used to get so bored in the evenings. . ..

That's when I get the time to talk with the voices in my head.
I'll enlist George Carlin to keep me on topic: "If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?" ;)

[azbackpackr]

I actually do have time for that quite a bit, although not as much lately since I am going to school.

The door opening thing--I live in a town where about a third of the males are over 60, wear cowboy boots and cowboy hats on a daily basis because they actually own cows, and they do hold doors open for women. There is no point in saying anything but, "thank you!" I hold the door for them quite often, too. Those post office doors are heavy. Actually, pretty much everyone in this town holds the door for everyone else at the post office. The post office is the place where we are all going to go pretty much every day, since so few of us have at-home mail delivery (it's not available.)