Goofy Hikers

montezumawell · Post by **montezumawell** » Mar 28 2005 6:28 pm

OK, we have all seen some pretty goofy hikers. More than we can remember. What are yours?

Today, we saw some kid hiking with a Game Boy two inches from his face. Luckily he was on the Bell Rock Pathway and was in no danger of walking over a cliff. He was so funny looking it was hard not to laugh out loud. His parents were ignoring him.

We will always remember the guy hiking with a 5-gallon pickle bucket strapped to his back. At Indians Gardens. Classic!

We've always liked those tourists who use plastic grocery bags as packs. How innovative!

Or the people who try to "bum" water from you when they are less than a half mile from the TH.

I'd give anything if I would have kept a written log of all the goofy hikers we've seen over the years. It sure would be fun to recount them in their original "glory."

We're certain our "goofy hiker" stories pale in comparison to those lurking in the minds of HAZ-ites everywhere. We hope you find time to share your stories here. In the meantime, we will continue to dredge the depths of our memory for more "goofy hiker" stories.

Meanwhile, we are trying to be a goofy hiker ourselves! Another HAZ member and we are exploring the possibility of outfitting us in high heels just to take "gag" pictures in various places high heels would never go. But we really, honestly DO see high heels on a fairly regular basis in Sedona. Sometimes even stilletto heels. Guess we're goofy, too, eh?

j

joebartels · Post by **joebartels** » Mar 28 2005 7:38 pm

The inner city trails seem to offer the most bang for the buck.

- Old bell man on Squaw, carries a walking staff with more bells then santa's sled. It's a wee bit "odd" but definitely snake-safe hiking.

- Bird woman on Squaw, always has an over sized parrot? on her shoulder. Perhaps a common scene in guatemala so maybe it's not so "odd".

- The purses on Squaw every now and then or the slacks is a nice touch

- Camelback seems to be the place for 1st timers to carry a gallon of water. I mean kudos on keeping hydrated but man that's gotta be heavy luggin' that sucker up and down. Of course that's just slightly odd. The two litter hot coke approach is my favorite. I quote snoop dog "fizz-yum"

- Some of the backpackers I pass just leave me in awe. I'm not sure if I'm more impressed with the balancing act or the sheer brute strength involved in with carrying a pack twice your size... ugh

- Then there's this one guy hiking through cholla forest in SANDALS! Sheees. Oh wait a minute, never mind...

- I'm out coming down the Dutchman Trail in the heart of the superstitions nearing Peralta junction by Palomino and a young shirtless favio comes jogging UP with a pack that entailed among other things a medium shovel and a huge pick-axe in the back. Which was odd, but five minutes later favio #2 is huffin and puffin up the slopes. I couldn't help but ask at that point. Apparently they were on trail maintenance. And even more apparent in a hurry to be running five miles into the wilderness UP a slope. Guess I should have bowed.

but those things are all just interesting
Truly odd is when you're out in the middle of nowhere and you pass people that you just can't figure out how they got there!

-I'm eight miles into a hike years ago in a sandy wash, no trail near, and I pass this 17-20 year old girl with nothing more then a 1960's looking eclipse/horn/looking canteen. I asked her if she was okay and she just walked by me as if she was boarding a plane.

-As posted on Indian Spring Petroglyphs. I passed a pack of twenty some individuals of all ages and definitely not hikers. The odd part was there was only one truck at the trailhead and this group couldn't possibly fit in it. But my heart sunk when I passed a couple(HAZ members nonetheless!) minutes later that obviously owned the truck.
Of course this is Arizona, there's nothing odd about that!

Shi · Post by **Shi** » Mar 28 2005 8:11 pm

I noticed something a few weeks ago when I was hiking. I rarely do trails where there are a lot of people, but I had been sick for awhile and not on trails, so I started out on some city hikes, namely Thunderbird Paseo Park area. I was hiking up, and as I would pass people, my thoughts were, oh, she or he smells so good! Hey, why don't my hiking partners smell as good (not that any of them smell bad)? The women smell of various colognes or body lotions and men generally smell of fabric dryer sheets. I'm thinking that my hiking partners are like I am, not wanting to be bear bait when out on a wilderness trail. (Whispering...the truth is, I likely had perfume on, as I had just left work when doing this trail).

I was hiking Cave Creek area a couple summers ago, when we came upon a couple wearing street cloths (mainly cotton) and drenched in their sweat. They both had those tiny bottles of water which were empty. The man was sitting on the side of the trail (total sun exposure), obviously in trouble. He had all the signs of heat exhaustion. We got him down by the water and cooled him off, after he drank about a liter of our water. He told us he hadn't eaten all day (it was mid-afternoon). He thought this would be a good time to "fast" and lose weight! We were shoving food down him, and AMAZINGLY, he felt better! I had to ask him, if he would expects his car to operate on empty (because his body is much like a car)? ARGH! Again, truth is, I did some real bonehead things when I was first starting out. It's been these sites and experience that has taught me a lot.

thanks everyone for your insight, sharing of experiences and stories to learn from. I still want to take my flip-flops on the trail....if I could ever figure out how to walk in them without dragging my feet!

Mary

AZHikr4444 · Post by **AZHikr4444** » Mar 29 2005 8:38 am

Lemme jump in here!

One thing that I absolutely love about this website, just for my short time here, is all that I can learn. As I have said before, hiking for me has been mainly find a trail, walk on it it until I am tired or it ends, and walk back. 9 months ago, I had never even heard of a topographic map. Hey, am I being born again? Wonder- 2 belly buttons??

I have this tendency to become overwhelmingly interested in something, and then learn everything I possibly can about it. Of course, then I am an instant expert!

I haven't been on the trail enough to see some of that crazy stuff mentioned here (man some of that is just pure lack of common sense), but I can attest to being overzealous and unlearned. For instance, after learning about hiking, I decided I needed an actual backpack- not the one my wife lugs around to ASU every day. So, I found a great deal on a off-brand backpack, all the bells and whistles. (hey I am poor!) So I bought it! That sucker is 5,400 CI. What the hell was I thinking?? I'm gonna be one of those yahoos that Joe sees doing the balancing act. I am a big guy (6'2, 200 lbs), but I have realized I don't think I will be packing that much stuff on my day hikes into Rogers Canyon! Gonna keep it though, but I am going to get myself something smaller for those daytrips or overnighters that I am more likely to be doing soon.

So if you see me on the trail being goofy- have a laugh on me! Oh, yeah..and turn me around and point me in the right direction!!

mttgilbert · Post by **mttgilbert** » Mar 29 2005 5:31 pm

Comming off the flatiron and heading back to my car at the jacobs crosscut I keep catching glimpses of yellow and pink through the foliage. As I get closer I spot a group of people. Two parents and a child, and three other men. Now the funny part is what they're all wearing. The mom and dad are dressed in slacks and button down shirts, their child is in head to toe pink. We're talkin pink shoes, pink pants, pink parka with hood (it wasn't that cold). Then the three other guys really strike me, one is in full cowboy garb, boots, hat, trenchcoad, six shooter at side. Another guy is in full military combat fatigues; BDUs bloused into boots, full alicepack, boonie hat, all forst camo of course, the only thing he's missing is the M-16. Then I see the last guy, short asian man in full yellow and orange robes like some kind of monk, complete with thong sandals. The monk was carrying the little girl, hence the yellow and pink.

I've seen some strange groups in the supes but they take the cake, for now...

montezumawell · Post by **montezumawell** » Mar 29 2005 7:03 pm

wow--that's a mind-expanding* image. Thanks, Matt!

j&s

*In Days of YesterYore, the "operative lingo" would have been "mind blowing." We are Politically Correct these days...sometimes.

Trishness · Post by **Trishness** » Mar 29 2005 10:50 pm

LOL Matt....and I thought I've seen some strange things. That takes the cake for sure!

The funniest thing I ever saw was a woman in Sedona who was attemptng to climb Boynton Spire in very chic capris, matching top and high heels. She smelled nice too....full makeup on. On the other hand, I had been hiking out there all day decked out in my usual mismatched hiking garb, "hat hair" and smelling kinda funky. Needless to say, this woman fell several times and her friends kept helping her up. I still don't know how she made it up there in heels.

The freakiest thing I've seen was not technically on a hike but on a horseback ride near Saguaro Lake. We were out on the Butcher Jones Trail and saw a some dreadlocked guy in an orange scrub type top heading up a wash. I was ready to call the Florence jail to see if they were missing anyone.

The most stupid thing I'd ever seen was in Aug 2003. I had only been hiking for a few months at that point but my hiking buddies had taught me well.....bring lots of water. I'd gone into Garden Valley early that day and was just getting off the trail at 10 AM (temp was already 100) and saw people walking in with a 16 oz bottle of water. No packs.....no food.

:mrgreen:

te_wa · Post by **te_wa** » Mar 30 2005 3:40 pm

we decided to take a hike into Havasu canyon with a friend from work who was a member of the "take a hike" club. We were told about "Hiker Barbie"
who is apparently some fake blonde girl who will never come out of her tent without full make-up and hair. So as we left the villiage heading towards the falls, we kept seeing wheel tracks in the soft dirt and followed them to our friend's campsite, later to find out that Hiker Barbie used the mules to bring a rolling suitcase, hence the wheel marks. The suitcase contained some very funny stuff indeed, including full make-up kit with hair brush, hair spray, and several trendy outfits, none of which were hiking material. Not to mention the shoes!
Thanks for the laugh, Hiker Barbie!

john.roach · Post by **john.roach** » Apr 01 2005 8:01 pm

While in Yellowstone I saw a woman come screaming down the trail with a rather plump ground squirrel in hot pursuit. Damnedest thing I've ever seen on the trail.

montezumawell · Post by **montezumawell** » Apr 01 2005 8:17 pm

So....but, what? Did the squirrel score? Did the woman escape? Did the Park Service go on a squirrel witch hunt?

Were squirrely squirrel signs posted throughout the park?

"Have Your Seen This Squirrel? Contact Headquarters immediately!"

You can't just leave us hanging--we're squirrelly with interest--we gotta know what happened!

j

And, PS, you aren't pullin' an April Fool's on us are ya?

Shi · Post by **Shi** » Apr 01 2005 9:26 pm

john.roach wrote:While in Yellowstone I saw a woman come screaming down the trail with a rather plump ground squirrel in hot pursuit. Damnedest thing I've ever seen on the trail.

I was stalked by a baby gila monster one day. I was taking a switchback and it started to chase me....so I RAN, only to see in on the back of the switch. I always thought these things were non-aggressive and timid! I've also been attacked by a pheasant while wearing a heavy backpack. I think I got close to her nest....I had to ward her off with a fishing pole while I tried to run with the backpack on. I wish I had a video of that one, it was rather humorous when all was said and done.

joebartels · Post by **joebartels** » Apr 01 2005 10:09 pm

This summer... Coming to HAZ!
Shi Claude Van Dam stars in

Pheasant Hunt
"The Tables Have Turned"

The TRAIL writes: ...wicked panoramas are worth the price of admission alone
Abbey writes: Feast on this!

fairweather8588 · Post by **fairweather8588** » Apr 01 2005 10:10 pm

I saw a college-aged guy about half way down Bright Angel Trail (just beyond Indian Gardens) last summer with flip-flops and a gallon jug. (That's it)

Trishness · Post by **Trishness** » Apr 02 2005 12:21 pm

john.roach wrote:While in Yellowstone I saw a woman come screaming down the trail with a rather plump ground squirrel in hot pursuit. Damnedest thing I've ever seen on the trail.

I'm getting a visual on this and laughing just imagining the scenario. But as J&S asked....what happened to the rest of the story???

:mrgreen:

john.roach · Post by **john.roach** » Apr 05 2005 9:44 am

Sorry I couldn't finish the post. I was cut off at work.

And now for the rest of the story.

After she passed me, the precarious rodent climbed up my pant leg looking for a hand out. Dispite telling it to “shoo,” it was adamant about getting an easy snack. I ended up having to whack it with my ball cap to get it off my leg. It stood and chittered at me after it hit the ground. I swear the thing seemed to do it as it was in disbelief at my actions before it returned to the woods. The lady had stopped a bit down the trail and was panting heavily. Apparently, she had given it a “Cheeto” and it wanted more. So it climbed up her leg and put her into panic mode. Guess she didn’t read the “don’t feed the animals” sign.

wedge · Post by **wedge** » Jun 08 2005 7:41 pm

OK, we were new to AZ hiking, so we had an excuse. Destination, Hutch's Pool, 100 degrees, hit trailhead (Bear Canyon, oh, the LONG way huh?) at noon (early risers!). 45 pounds on the back, most of which is water, but let's not forget the GPS, heavy DSLR, mattress (we were overnighting), well, you get the picture. Preparation is one thing, but slugging everything you own in the heat on the trail is not good mojo. We made it, but next time, oh next time, I'm gonna leave it all behind, save for 300 gallons of water.

Although....this is probably not as bad as the three drunk guys we met the next day at 4:30 pm heading OUT to Seven Falls from the trailhead, nothing more than Playmate coolers filled with Coors, flipflops and, well, you get the idea. It was truly scary. Perhaps not as scary as the woman carrying a pug dog (trust me, nothing else, no water, just a freakin' pug!) about 4 miles from the TH. Now you want to see a scared puppy..........

Trishness · Post by **Trishness** » Jun 08 2005 7:54 pm

Was that woman carrying the dog drunk too? It's just amazing the people and situations you encounter out there!

MelC · Post by **MelC** » Aug 14 2005 1:30 pm

I know this is an old thread but I saw some funny- more like clueless- hikers at Havasupai last weekend...

We started our hike out at 5:00 before sunlight. By the time we got to the incline and switchbacks right at the end, it was totally sunny and wayyy too late to be starting a 10 mile hike in August!

Anyway, I saw a 12 year old girl- ahead of her parents- carrying a HUGE Coleman sleeping bag under her arm. She asked us, "how much longer?" Oh boy, about 9 miles I told her. She said COOL! and kept going-- wonder what she thought at mile 6 after lugging that sleeping bag in her hand.

We also saw two guys- one guy wearing designer jeans and a playboy shirt- enough said.

finally, about 1/4 mile from the TH, there was a French couple with their kid on a leash attached to his overalls. the kid (about 5 or 6) was already crying and fell about 3 times in 5 minutes. oh boy! i had some concern for those guys- completely clueless starting a hike in the desert at 9:30 in august.

Sredfield · Post by **Sredfield** » Aug 14 2005 5:35 pm

A couple years ago up near Escalante in UT we finished a hike to Peek-a-Boo about 11 AM. As we were loading up we say a couple arrive and get out of the car, we asked if they were going to the Peek-a-boo. They were. We finished loading up, they had disappeared, and we thought how glad we were not to be starting that hike in the heat (thermometer in the car read 99).

As we were heading back out to the main road we saw them hiking down the trail, away from the trail! They had no idea where they were going.

wetbeaverlover · Post by **wetbeaverlover** » Oct 16 2005 3:51 pm

My personal favorite trailside freakorama was on Walker Basis trail.I was by myself heading up up the trail and at the base of the rim,I find this guy passed out bare pumpkin naked

with the exception of sandals and sunglasses, sunburned to a shade of red that would make a tomato froth with jealousy. Seems that same said hiker decided that the trail was much to harsh for him so he decided to stop, drink his beer and catch a nice tan while his friends climbed the rim. He was passed out colder than a wedge when i happened upon him. I rousted him and made sure hes was OK and asked if he needed help. He says "Yes, Do you have any cold beer?" Classic. I will never forget it as long as i live

Goofy Hikers

Goofy Hikers

Goofy hikers- goofyandproud

wow

But what?

I guess that'd be me.....